DeacTivaTe

Today, I officially deactivated my FB account.
No particular reasons.
Not because of shying myself away from the social institution.
It is just that I need some time for me to reflect back what I want in life.

Dearest friends and family,

I find life is a mixture of feelings, experiences and conjunctures.
A life that is not yet fully understood or verified by many even to the experts.
I want to have the full grasp of what life is all about.
Though I may not be able to get it, I will try my utmost best.
What I understood so far, I've realized that I've tried so hard to accumulate and polish my understanding, knowledge and skills to contribute to what I called human civilization and placed myself in between them, but unfortunately, I failed. Miserably.
I thank God for giving me capabilities beyond average ranges but I realized that there are so many cracks and holes that I need to fill up before I move on to the next level.
I came to an understanding that I can't ignore and leave these pockets unfilled in order to gallop around searching for a better life. All I have to do is, patiently mend everything around me before moving to the next phase.
I've been ignoring a lot of things lately and now the feeling of guilt is eating me slowly. I don't want to make people I love suffer due to my ignorance and my superfluous ambitions. That is the ultimatum of selfishness...
I am hurt and frustrated but I am sure that even in the darkest moment of my life, the sun will shine eventually.
I am waiting for the moment to come. I don't know when, but I am sure if not now, later. If not in this lifetime, maybe in the afterlife.

Maybe God has given me the chance to mend things before it's too late. Thank you God.